Part 3: The Threshing Floor of our Hearts
That Christmas program was the first of many artistic expressions God would eventually allow me to both participate in and create within the church. Dances, skits, music, sculpting, painting, mime, aerials... full stage productions, dinner theatres, local outreaches and international tours…
Through each of these God would solidify within me a passion to create with excellence while relying on the Holy Spirit to do what only He could do
in the hearts of man.
I remember feeling like I was on fire… I was ready to take all of the arts training I had received and meld it together with my new-found love for Jesus. It’s hard to believe that only a few short months before this, I was lost and suicidal. Now, here I stood in the transformative power of God, committed to giving Him my all...my best. He had captured my heart, consumed my hurts, and given me new life…..
How could I possibly consider giving Him anything less than my very best in return?
As I basked in His unconditional love, I began to realize that my purpose and vision was changing…
In my college days, I had wanted to perform on stages, inspire artists and audiences, and train and create with other performers. When I think about it, that part did not really change....but the stage and the one for Whom I wanted to “perform” did. My platform was now the Gospel of Jesus Christ...and my performance was now for an audience of One. I was consumed by the sacrifice Jesus made for me...enduring ridicule, beatings, scourging, and crucifixion...The more I reflected on His unfathomable decision to lay down His life for me...the more I wanted to lay down my life for HIM! Little did I know at the time what that would really mean...
In the weeks, months, and years that followed, I would have ample opportunity to both study and experience varying levels of sacrifice...though never to the degree of my Savior. Each “opportunity’ only affirmed what I was reading in scripture. Sacrifice included the giving of the first, the best, and a life. Though it’s true we no longer offer animal sacrifices, thanks to the finished work of Christ, we do still have the opportunity to bring a sacrificial offering to the Lord...and to die to our flesh in the process. When my “sacrifice” involves my artistic giftings, then I really endeavor to give it my full focus, my time, my strength...and my heart. For me, it also mandates the giving of my very best. This, by the way, does not mean THE best, as compared to others, but simply MY best. (That’s another blog!) I will say that I have found when fully immersing myself like this, I often run the risk of allowing my identity to get misplaced, my intentions to be misunderstood, or my precious agenda being hijacked.
I have also discovered that when hearts are fully vested, the opportunity to “die” to our own personal wants and needs will present itself.
Here is where I have had to learn that it is NOT about me, but instead it is all about Him.
There is a story in I Chronicles 21, that was burned into my heart many years ago. It comes from a time when King David had sinned against God and was required to build an altar and make a sacrifice. The place of the required offering was a threshing floor, where grain was beaten in order to separate the chaff from the husk.
I find it interesting that God would ask David’s sacrifice to be made here, in the place where the useful was separated from the useless.
It reminds me that it is in the most difficult, and sometimes the most distressing places of life, that God may ask us to worship Him...for it is here in this place that we often find perspective.
It is here that we often are set free from what we thought was important so that we might worship Who is truly important.
I believe the truest sacrifice...the truest worship... will always come from the threshing floor of our hearts.
In the story, as David prepared to make his offering, he approached the owner of the threshing floor where God had required his sacrifice be made. Surprisingly, the owner offered to GIVE David not only the space, but the animals required. However, David declined saying, “No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.” (I Chronicle 21:24) I will not sacrifice to the Lord what has cost me nothing… This simply…is beautiful...and has become my heart’s cry.
In pursuit of excellence these past years, I have discovered that when art is not done well and has not cost us sufficiently, instead of being an enhancement to our message, it often times becomes a distraction.
Before I go any further, I want to clarify that I am not talking about personal times of worship. These are unique to our relationship with God and are as lovely as a child performing for their parents….it is innocent, raw, and from the heart...and “technique” has no bearing on the heart connection that this expression creates.
That said, for me, when presentations are not
done with excellence, they run the risk of
shrouding the message we’re attempting to
bring to our “audience.”
Have you ever been in a service when someone has slid off pitch and totally interrupted a “moment” you were having with God? Have you ever been at a show when one of the performers has forgotten their line and it creates this unbearable pregnant pause...and inside your begging, “Someone, please say something...anything!” What about the dancers that have forgotten their choreography and sadly collide with one another in the middle of the dance? Then there’s the tech team member that forgets to bring up the lights when the performers take the stage and there they stand reciting their lines in the dark. Don’t forget about the speaker who starts his presentation, but the mic isn’t on; or the PA has been incorrectly placed and now their mic shrieks so loudly that the whole audience falls completely out of their seats. (Ok, that may have been a small exaggeration there at the end…. I may need some inner healing. LOL)
The truth is I’ve experienced ALL of these things ...both as the one on stage AND as the one sitting in the audience. It is so uncomfortable for EVERYONE, isn’t it?! When these things happen, it’s so easy to become distracted.... The performer is now completely focused on themselves. They’ve lost sight of Who they are performing for and can only think about how embarrassed they feel. The audience, depending on their background, is either critiquing the errors that have been made, or are consumed with pity for the one who “messed up.” None of this is what anyone wants.
Of course, it’s true, these things can and will happen no matter how much you have practiced and rehearsed.
None of us will ever be perfect..nor
should we expect to be!!
On top of that, God is absolutely amazing at taking our mistakes and turning them into something beautiful. This is why we can “count it all joy” when our flesh has opportunity to die! When mistakes happen, it’s a great time to assess where our identity lies...in our gifts?...in people’s opinions? I have often had to remind myself that my identity is in Christ, NOT in my performance. I’ve equally had to own when I didn’t prepare as well as I should have...when I didn’t want to pay the ‘full price’ for my offering...and it has adversely impacted my team and those I was serving alongside. Ouch!
I think for me, the bottom line is this… I’ve chosen to adopt David’s stance that I will not sacrifice to the Lord what has cost me nothing...my time, strength, resources...my heart.
My deep conviction, as a Kingdom Artist in the Church, is that I am committed to excellence...giving my first and my best.
I realize this will most likely require my going to the threshing floor of my heart...where I’m confident my flesh will need to die yet once again…
The truth is...I would have it no other way...my Savior deserves nothing less!
I Chronicle 21:24 (NIV): “No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.”
James 1:2-4 (NIV): “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you fall into various temptations, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. Let endurance have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”
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